Last Holiday I went to Laser maze. We went in the doors their was 10 pin bowling and laser maze we decided to go to laser maze we put on the glowing jacket and clip them on. GO! we ran in the doors to darkness we lighted up more the deeper we went in. I quietly flanked and snuck up on my mum and shot her and dashed away quickly. I got shot and my gun lost it's light for a while, I suddenly lit up again and got a sneaky shot threw the window on my brother and then followed up with another on my aunty but mum shot me threw the mirror. I had to hide so that I could regenerate my light. I spotted the base and rushed towards it shooting and and collecting the points. Me, my cousin and my brother regrouped and snuck up on them while they were shooting the base I got one and my cousin got two the game yelled GAME OVER!. We followed the arrows out. Yellow (My Team) had 17000 points Red (Opposition) 12000 points we won by 9000 points and went to the scores and I read My cousin came 1st I cam 2nd and my mum came 3rd.
Ohh this sounds fun!! I would love to give this a go! I also liked that you focused on one moment in your holiday and described it in detail so the reader is captured by it. Maybe next time check your punctuation is correct, it can really help the pace and meaning of your story.
ReplyDeleteHi it's Sophie here from St Patrick's School. I like the way you wrote about you holiday.
ReplyDeleteBlog ya later!!!